Hillman’s Dogs ‘R Us

dog

I feel uncomfortable about this. Why is that Golden Retriever wearing a shower cap?  Is that Bailey…because Bailey told me they brought her somewhere to wash off that last skunk.  She told me it was a lot worse than the bathtub and the baby shampoo and the hydrogen peroxide.  And I don’t smell nearly as bad as Bailey did.  Even if she HAD to wear that shower cap for some reason, why did they take her picture? Promise me you won’t take my picture.  Promise.  Speaking of promises, if we leave now I promise I’ll behave in the bathtub at home.

dog4

Is that supposed to be funny?  I could get off that in a minute if I tried. That Victrola mutt might have been too stupid to untangle himself while they painted his picture, but I am not going to have a problem with that.

dog5

Oh yeah.  This place is just a laugh a minute.  Four on the floor.  Very funny. Healthy pets only.  That’s kinda inspirational.  I think I feel a major barf coming on.  I might even be able to manage some diarrhea.

dog2

Two bucks is  overpriced for some cheap terrycloth drying towel, don’t ya think?  What is that thing in the middle?  Ear wipes?  Does that say ear wipes?  Are they out of their minds?  If you reach to put anything in that middle slot I will bite the fat pink thing you push around in that stroller.  And if you ever put anything in my ears I will chew the thumbs off both your top paws.

dog3

I don’t think so.  I don’t think so.  You can’t make me. Even Cesar Millan could not make me walk up that thing.  Please, please.   I promise.  I know what skunks look like now.  I know what they do.  I won’t chase them anymore.  I promise.  I promise.  I’ll be good.   Take me to our own bathtub. Save your money for buying a toy for the fat pink thing in the stroller.