Ok, so you’re cute. But they gave me the kerchief to wear because I’m better than cute. I have a job around here. I’ll teach you how it’s done, because cute doesn’t last forever. I see the size of those paws. You’ll need to earn your keep. Lay low at first. Let them get close.
No barking. No barking. I said no barking. Not yet. Listen up and shut up. Ok. Now. Now. Show ’em who’s boss.
No. No. Ignore the chipmunk. IGNORE THE CHIPMUNK! Canada Goose paws are about to touch our grass!
“I’m sorry. I said I’m sorry. I’ll do better next time. You’re the boss, Boss. I saw that little striped thing running for his hole by the bird feeder and I just couldn’t help myself. Are those little striped things tasty, Boss? Did you ever catch one? Did you ever eat one? I ate one of the finches last week. Finches are not tasty at all. But the little striped things, they look like they might be tasty. What are those little striped things called, Boss?”
Chipmunks, Trigger. Chipmunks.
“Chipmunks. Oh. Sorry. That’s what you meant. Sorry, Boss.”