A sucker is born

…every minute.

The intense campaign against Canada Geese and their fast-growing, poop-producing offspring is over for this year. We tried stringing the property. That worked for two weeks. We tried aggressive efforts, like running at them with arms waving, whenever we were there. We hoped our neighbors would invite visitors with dogs. Nothing worked when we weren’t present. Even taking a nap might mean that when you woke up you would find the six adults and their 13 goslings messing on your lawn. And I do mean messing.

In years past, it wasn’t much of an issue because the Golden Retriever who lived next door loved to chase geese. She didn’t get much chance at that because, knowing a dog was around, the geese steered clear of the property. But our Golden Retriever neighbor moved out in late May. So,we suffered through a difficult goose season.

I kind of knew that decoys are for chumps. After all, I’d tried Headley the Alligator with his sparkling eyes. Supposedly Canada Geese, since they winter in the south, know that gators would rather eat geese than almost anything else they eat. Headley was going to solve our goose problems. He didn’t work, not even a little bit and not even at the beginning, and you can read about it here.

But the internet is full of reviews of how this coyote decoy, meant for hunting, is working all kinds of goose deterrent magic. One reviewer says it’s so realistic that her neighbor was throwing rocks at it. Apparently some neighbors are dumber than Canada Geese. The only thing our ‘yote scared was me. Every time I came upon him, I startled.

I’m done with decoys.

Except, I have recently learned that the kind of decoy I should really want is a swan. Geese and swans are like oil and water. So, maybe a swan decoy just off shore next year might….no, please, stop me.

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